More toilet humor

For the squires of the lunch table.

Leaving Geneva, and heading west, I make so so good time. It might be the fact that I'm a sloth, sleeping long into the day before getting on the saddle again, or that I actually never seem to remember to refill the air in the tires. Digression: I should perhaps tattoo somewhere on my body that I need to refill air. Every other day, the pressure should be checked to be 4,5 bars, or else biking will seem like a sirupy stroll. < /digression >

Well, 9 parts out of 10 of halfway to Bordeaux, something else hampers me. Waking up at the closed camping grounds, something is stirring in my tummy. I put it off as a too hasty breakfast or crummy pouring weather, but as any well anticipating reader already have deducted, it was something else entirely.

After the worst 15 km's of biking of my life, I claw my way into the first hotel I can find. Half crazed with fever, dehydrated, all body and especially joints hurting, I sit in the shower/tub for a few hours. Then I go to sleep, and wake up the next day with only the abdomen in cramping pain.

Spending a few days in a rather sorry state, I finally get back to some health. When going to McDonalds (pre-digested food and coka-cola is good for you) for some free internet, destiny reminds me that my life at the moment revolves around shit. Biking under a few trees, I hear a deafening chirping and whistling from them. This hides the sound of "Clatsh, klatsch, splut" emanating everywhere from the tarmac around me. My back tire actually slides out to the side by some slick substance on the ground, but I manage to keep my balance. As I'm in traffic, I have no alternative but to pass through: A literal rain of shit. The town of Montlucon is apparantly host to a number of migrating birds, who seem to especially like these particular trees as a resting place on their way to where ever.

What I've learned from all this?
-You should probably never travel with cheese.
(But, the cheese is sooo good here!)

And:

-Carry a bike mounted, recoil free, barrel loaded automated shotgun where ever you go.